Purge - March 18, 2012

[note: this was written during a writing exercise: we had 20 minutes to write something inspired by the word "purge". This is the result, unedited, exactly as it appeared when time ran out. You can read all of them in the waves category]

Purge- Squiddy Geiger - March 18, 2012

Xander spent the afternoon removing things from the house, boxing them up to be put in storage. Anything with a connection to her was removed. Joint purchases, gifts, things she'd liked. All too painful to keep around. Perhaps one day he'd be able to have them around again, but right now, he couldn't function with them in the house.

As he boxed things up, he'd find his eyes watering, on the verge of crying. He never actually broke down in tears, but it was close a few times. Not that he though crying was unmanly - he'd cried the night she died. He'd cried at the funeral. Not sob, no, but he had done nothing to hide the tears. He didn't want to cry anymore, but he knew some reminder of a shared experience could do it. So for now, he purged the house of reminders.

The trip to the hospital after he'd gotten the call had been agony, the fear and worry causing physical pains in his chest. When he'd arrived and the doctor had taken him aside, he'd known, before Dr. Lewis had said a word. When she'd said the words, daggers had sliced his insides. By the time her parents had arrived, shock had set in; he'd gone through the motions. When his sister had arrived, she took charge of him, got him home safely.

She'd helped him with the arrangements, too. The shock had lasted a long time. He was not used to grief; he'd never lost anyone close before, and hadn't been ready for it. He'd always questioned the need for funerals, but understood now. It had helped him say goodbye, but he wasn't done grieving, and until this phase was done, he didn't want reminders.

He was trying to purge the grief by purging the reminders. Others might not understand, but it was what he needed to do for now. He sighed, and continued sorting and boxing; there was much to do yet.

Posted by Squiddy at March 18, 2012 07:53 PM | TrackBack