September 17, 2012

Random - September 17, 2012

[note: this was written during a writing exercise: we had 20 minutes to write something inspired by the word "random". This is the result, unedited, exactly as it appeared when time ran out. You can read all of them in the waves category]]

Random- Squiddy Geiger - September 17, 2012

The man had to be crazy. That was the only explanation Zain could think of as he listened to his rantings. ZilAnna was smiling as she listened, but Zain wasn't amused. He'd tried to leave, but she wouldn't budge, said she wanted to hear more.

"And if you think about it," the man continued, "Zlomy really was a great man, even if he did eat three breakfasts. Come on, it's the most important meal of the day, so why not eat it again, and even a third time?" Zain just shook his head, but his wife continued to smile as she listened.

"I ate breakfast, lunch and supper faithfully for years, but never seemed to get anywhere. Then I took up Zlomy's teachings, and that included at least two breakfasts a day, sometimes more. And now look at me, I'm a successful street preacher with a following of," he paused dramatically, looking around," several. You too can be successful if you follow Zlomy's example."

"But what if you live with someone who refuses to let you eat an extra breakfast?" ZilAnna asked.

The man laughed. "You eat a second lunch, instead. Zlomy teaches that lunches are a good substitute for missed breakfasts, and in a pinch, an extra supper works, but not too often, they tend to be too big - it's recommended that you eat an extra supper no more than twice a month."

"Where does it say that?" another man asked.

"It's in Musings 15:3, and mentioned again in Mayhem 21:9. But don't get too hung up on that, because the standard three meals isn't unhealthy, just unhelpful. if you can't slip in your extra breakfast today, make sure you do tomorrow.. That concludes the rant for today. Now I'd like to read a passage from Malingering 94:1-3:"

"May you be half an hour in Heaven
Before the Devil knows you're dead
If you like pina colada, stick to your mate
Find out who he or she is, remember, you wed

"The little old man from Nantucket
Reads a lot, gets angry and only
Talks to you when he needs something
Be kind and humour him anyway.

"Salad and enchiladas are a good
Dietary source of food of some kind
Eat them, and you will be full
Don't eat, and you will suffer.

The man closed his book and looked around expectantly, holding his hat out. ZilAnna dropped some money in, as did three others. He looked expectantly at Zain, who just shook his head, and grabbed his wife's arm. "Can we go, please?" he hissed. She nodded and they walked slowly away, arm in arm.

Posted by Squiddy at September 17, 2012 08:45 PM | TrackBack