March 28, 2006

September 22, 2004

Surely you jest...

Just when you thought it was safe to listen to German news broadcasts...

Deutsche Welle adds Klingon to its web site's language list.

"The pages, at, were added to celebrate the site's 10th anniversary."

Source: CNN Offbeat News

March 01, 2004

Oh yes...

... a belated

Happy Birthday!!!

to all you Leap Babies! After all, you don't get as many birthdays as the rest of us, so it's mean not to acknowledge you when you do!

Hope you had a great day!

October 23, 2003

Kindergarten for Men

Deutsche Welle: German Bar Opens First Kindergarten for Men

Womenin Hamburg who want to shop without dragging along grumbling male partners can leave them at the nation's first kindergarten for men. This adult daycare center has plenty of amenities to keep the big boys occupied. [...] Women wanting a few hours of Saturday shopping in peace can drop off their partners at the "Männergarten," where for 10 Euros ($11.64), the men get a meal, two beers and an afternoon of boy's games, cards, conversation and sports on TV.

"The women are issued a receipt for their partners when they drop them off and can pick them up again when they return it to us later," said Alexander Stein, manager of the Nox bar and creator of the Männergarten.

Uhhh... could someone set one of these up in, say... FutureShop?

[link via Simian Design]

October 16, 2003

Life in the fishbowl...

Anyone who has ever had to do tech support can identify with Laurence Simon's rather interesting description over at Amish Tech Support.

Those of you who have never suffered in Tech Support Hell should give thanks to your Deity(ies)/Supreme Being/GiantHead of choice.

October 09, 2003

Blogger Limericks

Michele over at A Small Victory is holding a Blogger Limerick Contest titled: Limerick Time: the Poetry Day Incestous Blogging Contest. It's an idea blatantly stolen from the BBC Magazine's Limerick Contest, as she felt the rules there weren't quite to her liking. The most important rule of Michele's contest is - you must mention a blogger or blog. You may not mention Michele in your limerick.

My contribution:

There is an odd blogger named Helpful
Whose sanity is somewhat doubtful
Bill Shatner's double, dude!
His writings so very crude
Yet often entertaining and mirthful

Hope you like it. Especially you, Mr. Helpful!

September 29, 2003

I knew hockey was tough, but...

CBC Sports: Satan signs two-year deal with Sabres

Satan, an NHL all-star in 2000 and 2002, led the Sabres in goal scoring for the last five seasons.

In seven NHL seasons, Satan has 230 goals and 232 assists for 462 points in 622 games with Edmonton and Buffalo.

I'm sorry - I couldn't resist the headline. :)

September 19, 2003

Arrrrr! Talk like a pirate day!

Ahoy!. Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. I know you have always wanted t'talk like a pirate, and now's your chance! Much thanks t'that lovely lass Michele over at a small victory for t'heads up!
Avast! Ye scurvy dogs!

An Interview with Izzy

Hurricane Isabel has given Bill over at Bloviating Inanities an exclusive interview:

Bill: Hi Izzy. Mind if I call you Izzy?

Isabel: Mind if I remove your roof and deposit it in your pool?

This is exciting stuff - she may be tough, but she's funny, too!

September 04, 2003

Has GDubya seen this?

I just love this twist on the Nigerian Scam. I can hardly wait for someone to actually send it out:

Dear Sir/Madam

You may be surprised to receive this letter from me, but I have only now regained the ability to write. For the purpose of introduction, I am Mr. Saddam Hussein, the son of Dr. Hussein al-Majid, a wealthy ruler/provider in Iraq who was murdered when I was but a boy in a tribal dispute common to my my country, and many others.

I got your contact through the internet based on our urgent need for a dependable and trustworthy foreign partner. Hence I decided to write to you.

Link trail:Silflay Hraka -> Rhetorica: Carnival of the Vanities #50 -> Fringeblog

August 29, 2003

Battle CryYelp!

Oh sure. Michele at a small victory gets to stalk the plains. What do I get to stalk? See for yourself:

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Stalking along the candy store, clutching a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Michael! And he gives a mighty cry:

"I'm going to clobber you in such an unsafe manner, you will see ultraviolet!!"

Find out!
Enter username:
Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Posted by Squiddy at 10:26 AM | TrackBack | Comments (1)

August 26, 2003

And I thought Lutefisk sounded bad...

Making my way through my daily reads, I came across this mention of surströmming on Giornale Nuovo:

"Herring fished in the near-fresh waters of the northern Baltic in spring is processed and canned, but with insufficient salt to arrest all biological activity. In the can, a process of fermentation (some might say putrefaction) takes place, which renders the contents foul-smelling but still edibly non-toxic. Apparently, the hungrily ingenious northern Swedes of yore hit upon this process as a means of economising on the use of salt."

Apparently, when it comes to food, common sense is lacking in Scandinavia.

August 20, 2003

Five Questions

Darren over at speakeasy has thrown the Five Questions meme at me. I'm to answer these - but hey, I asked for it, so...

1) How has life changed, now that you're a Dad?
I'm more cautious. I drive more carefully. I'm more aware of health issues, and I'm definitely more aware of my surroundings. With a 3-year-old, you need to know what's going on. Life has changed in many ways, but the biggest is - there's someone who depends on us completely and totally. Very sobering, that.

2) What is your experience commuting to Edmonton from Calgary?
It sucks. Really.

3) Superpowers. What superpowers do you currently possess? What superpowers would you like?

I have the ability to become completely invisible. Not literally, but certainly effectively. I always wanted to have Superman's x-ray vision. That would be cool.

4) Tell me a humourous anecdote about working with computers.
What's a computer? No, wait. Uhhh... once, I wanted to cross a bridge, and this evil troll jumped out and - oh, wait. Wrong story.

I once had to diagnose a PC that wouldn't read floppies properly. In DOS1, if you typed DIR, you'd get gobbledygook. If you tried to run a program you knew was on the floppy, it would fail. But if you typed in the program name (and extension) as it appeared in the DIR listing, it would run! For example, DEMO.EXE would show up as H@E$.@T@ and if you typed in H@E$.@T@ and hit enter, it would run.

I checked everything I could think of. I checked the connector cable to the drive, the power connector, I even *swapped* the drive out and tried another. Same thing. Tried Viruscan. Nothing worked.

Just when I was about to give up, I noticed something that didn't look right at the back of the computer. One of the motherboard power connectors was not completely pushed down on one side. I clicked it home, and powered up, typed DIR and voila! fixed!

5) What advice do you want to pass down to the next generation?
Use Sunscreen. Trust me. Oh, and there's that thing about not taking life too seriously, but don't be a jackass, either. Sober thought can be a good thing.

1DOS: the original source of Bill's wealth. An Operating System, for you young'uns that never had the pleasure of using it...
2ok, it may not have been humorous, but...

The rules: if you want me to ask you five questions, ask me in the comments below. I will give you the questions in a subsequent entry.

August 14, 2003

Heard 'in passing...'

If you're expecting, as some of our friends are, and you're tired of the stupid, rude and overly personal questions strangers ask you, here's a good comeback, found at In Passing:

"I might have to put her up for adoption, though."
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Forgive me for asking."
"But only if she turns out to be a Redskins fan. It's too early to tell right now."

--A pregnant woman and an elderly woman talking in the shoe section at Bloomingdales.

Feel free to replace "Redskins" with the sports team/band/singer/actor of your choice.

July 27, 2003

We need help!

My wife and I are going to buy a digital camera. We've been busy looking up reviews of various models online, and comparing the differences.

We have a problem. We found this little beastie in a flyer, but can't find it anywhere online:

Perhaps you know something about it?

Yes, we know it's really a Minolta Dimage E223. :)

This is what happens when flyers are put together by people who nothing about the products.

Posted by Squiddy at 05:24 PM | TrackBack | Comments (3)

July 23, 2003

Sauron's dirty little secret

Found at Fembat.Net. With thanks, of course, to Dr. Fun.

July 16, 2003

Darwin Award Nominee

From the Amish Tech Support website:

"It's not often that someone goes from a Fullbright Scholarship to Darwin Award, you know."

Seems some silly Oxford students, members of an unofficial club, the Oxford Stunt Factory, were flinging each other from a replica of a midievel catapult. One of them came up shy of the target net.

Full Reuters account on Yahoo News [link now defunct]

July 15, 2003

In passing...

I've been meaning to mention this site, In Passing for awhile now... finally added it to my blogroll over there on the right.

An anonymous blogger, Eve S. Dropper - anonymous so her friends and classmates will continue to make interesting and bizarre smalltalk around her - takes snippets of conversation heard "in passing" and posts it to her blog, along with short and often witty commentary.

Some of these things are so bizarre, one is hard-pressed to find an acceptable context... so go read, and enjoy!

Posted by Squiddy at 10:17 AM | TrackBack | Comments (2)

In passing...

I've been meaning to mention this site, In Passing for awhile now... finally added it to my blogroll over there on the right.

An anonymous blogger, Eve S. Dropper - anonymous so her friends and classmates will continue to make interesting and bizarre smalltalk around her - takes snippets of conversation heard "in passing" and posts it to her blog, along with short and often witty commentary.

Some of these things are so bizarre, one is hard-pressed to find an acceptable context... so go read, and enjoy!

Posted by Squiddy at 10:17 AM | TrackBack | Comments (2)

July 08, 2003

CWD, anyone?

Behold the beauty of Canadian World Domination, brought to you by General Claire and General Jenny.

I especially like this map: USA Rezoned for Canadian Rule. I'm not sure I agree with all the new names, but the boundaries work for me...

(site found at the Daily Rant)

Posted by Squiddy at 10:41 AM | TrackBack | Comments (1)

March 16, 2003

MSN rocks...?

No, not really... but this does. When you go to MSN, and go to the Member Directory, it will ask for your Passport, or allow you to set one up. It then lets you choose a nickname. It will allow you to enter a nickname, or choose one of the four displayed random nicknames. Don't like the four on the screen? You can click a link to display four more. And four more, and so on, and so on...

Nothing unusual about that, other places have it. The thing that is unusual is the words in the random list. As a quick sample, here are some of the nicknames I was offered:


Many others sounded like really bad band names. It's fun! It's exciting! And you can blame my wife for telling me about it!

February 20, 2003

February 02, 2003

a new version of Windows...

It's available now! It's WindowsRG, and it's worth checking out, folks!

Note: this has sounds...

Thanks to for this one.

January 31, 2003

Spammers have found a new product...

From the glances I've taken at my spam before nuking it, it appears spammers have found a new product to sell:

"... the last flashlight you'll ever need to buy! never needs batteries..."

What? It runs on Viagra, right? And the special light it gives off makes your genitals look bigger? And when you use it, people think you have a Ph.D.? And it automatically opens an account for you, that allows you to help that poor woman from Nigeria/Philippines/Sudan/Name-a-country get that $30 million US out of the country.

Nope, no news yet... client is *still* crunching numbers, apparently. Blah.

January 29, 2003

Here, kitty kitty kitty...

Ok, some people just don't get it: it's a lion, dummy!

And no, we haven't heard yet... apparently, the client wanted another face-to-face meeting today... so... maybe today? ... tomorrow? ... 2004?

January 20, 2003